Long over due, and somewhat talked about (and soon to be promised) here follows the latest (and unfortunatly last, for the time being) Thomas vs. Scammer correspondence. It first started a long, long time ago (August to be precise, and that's where you'll find the first email), and it finished quite a while ago, however, in order to benefit from the soon-to-be buzz, I feel posting it now is far more appropriate:

Dear Thomas,

Thanks for your response, as stated in my earlier email, I represent Mr. Mikhail khordokovsky, the former C.E.O of Yukos in Russia. I am sure you know of his predicaments presently and this is why we need your help

I am sure you are up to date with M.K.and Mr. P**** affair.

Mr. P**** is intent in destroying M.K. and his business empire, We are working to get a break from the courts and we will need all the cash call we can muster to hold our head above waters in the coming days.

The Channel Island portfolio is one of our arms yet to be infected by the Moscow led federal tax offensive designed to bring us down and we need you to help us keep it so. We need funds from this portfolio and we can not get the funds on our own without arousing Moscow. To avoid this we need to completely reprofile the funds from Channel Island portfolio in your name so as to turn away Moscow and their ally from us.

The complete amount available for you for reprofiling is presently over $450m and the 4% still stands. The new beneficiaries of the portfolio will need to offset the back taxes to the authorities in Channel Island and move the funds online over the internet through a dedicated confidential bank access that I will obtain from M.K. in Moscow through existing channel of communications.

Once I get your name or company name, address, for identity to replace that of M.K. and reprofile the portfolio accordingly, then I will get the bank access across to you to access the portfolio, pay the back taxes to the authorities and move the funds to another account we will provide you in Monte Carlo and you keep the 4% as agreed.

I will also suggest you visit these news sites on the internet to be better informed about this project.

I sent our current conversational status to Moscow and have received the authority to proceed with you, and get some clarifications both ways.

Before I am able to give out the information that will enable you access confidential data-pages of Mikhail, I would need some information as follows:

(1) What is your net worth?
(2) If you have problems, do they affect your activities you undertake with us as an individual rather than a corporate entity?
(3) Have you handled large funds, and successfully?
(4) Can you travel to jersey in Channel Island within short notice of say three days?

All the answers will be kept very confidential. I must explain why we are asking these questions: If you do have existing profile problems, we may end up inheriting your backlog thus creating a problem where none exist.

We intend to liquidate a large investment, and take the capital appreciation derivative to provide a new investment fund, under your management, for future investments, thus negating any requirements for taxation or declaration of process for income generation.

However, if you do have issues prior to this, it puts anything you do in the light, and thus puts us in uncomfortable situation. As you can see, our assets are frozen in Switzerland, and while we have excess of USD5b lying there, we are unable to liquidate them, or use them as guarantee for payment of the USD3.5b back taxes inflicted on us by the government. If the situation does not improve, we shall be bankrupt before the end of forth quarter this year.

The funds being liquidated arise from independent investments of the group, outside the Russian soil, so we can legitimately do so, only if this is done quietly. If the authorities hear about this, we shall have to tender it for hearing in international judicial systems, and that will kill us.

Hence answer the questions in honesty, and let us know we are comfortable with you. We are trying to ensure that you do not put us in any trouble, and likewise, we shall provide you with an input as an entity with no history to the investment, only as a management consultant.

Everybody must be safe now and in the future, hence the questions.

I await your response.

Thanks in advance.
Regards,
Mrs Larisa Sosnitskaya

I didn't quite know where the Channel Islands were, so I didn't think twice about having to travel there on short notice. I'd even prepared my Hawaiian shirts, shades, sandles, the whole deal. Anyway, I replied:

Mrs. Larisa Sosnitskaya

After reading your very informative and compelling, though somewhat confusing (alas I am no expert in business or things of involved with money, which is testament to why my wife balances my books, at home, and is my company accountant) email, I believe I may be of some use to you and your noble, even if under attack, company.

You asked for my net worth. Roughly, I believe it to be approximately $15, 630, 500 Iraqi Dinar cash, and approximately $16, 746, 500 Iraqi Dinar in investment abroad. Unfortunately, this does not take into account my stocks, bonds and loans, as I would be required more time to obtain this information. My investments are generally in the slave labour market; funding (so-called) “raids” along the African coast, the transportation of “captured” individuals aboard my boats (whether or not the National Boating Society wish to regard them as such), and the like.

As far as handling this venture, I do not have a problem handling this on a personal level. In fact, I would prefer not to involve my company if at all possible. Any sort of physical contact, though, would be difficult, at least at my headquarters, as the group of protesters who have picketed my building for three and a half years straight has significantly grown. I suspect that those dirty Green politicos have something to do with it. Therefore, I believe any correspondence should occur through email, as I regularly check for such business opportunities. It also ensures an extra amount of confidentiality in the matter.

As far as the ability to travel, as I have already stated I travel quite extensively. I do not trust commercial airline travel, and fly exclusively on my corporate jet. Being able to travel on short notice should not be a problem so long as I don't have any conflicting business travel. I travel to Paris and London frequently, and could possibly schedule a trip to Jersey, Channel Islands around such a trip. Once I know a proposed schedule I would better be able to let you know.

I am very busy, and do not have much time to waste on this matter. If you are indeed serious about this venture, then I welcome the opportunity to provide assistance. I am not yet fully comfortable with this venture at this point, but as you say, maybe through correspondence and getting to know each other better, we can proceed with trust and confidence.

Possibly yours in business,

Thomas.

For the above, I actually put the Iraqi Dinar in superscript, so, while actually telling them that I wasn't worth anything over $30, 000 AUD, I certainly did not try and over-inflate my own worth. Anyway, here was the the timely response:

Dear Thomas,

Thank you for your prompt response and i understand your decision to undertake the business on the personal level instead of company,it removes the hindrances occassioned by company bureaucracies and encumberances such as taxes and liabilities.

WE HAVE A DEAL BUT BEFORE WE PROCEED WE MUST HAVE ASSURANCE FROM BOTH SIDES:

Find attached a copy of my valid identification for your record.i implore you to send your asap and send me a private telephone number to call you on so that we can have the assurances on both sides.

On receipt of the I.D., i will pass information to the bank to reprofile the portfolio in your name and give you the bank to access access the portfolio and pay the back taxes to the authorities and move the funds to another account we will provide you in Monte Carlo and you keep the % as agreed.

I await your response.

regards

Larisa.

There were files attached to the email, but I felt that my precious bandwidth (the limit of which I struggle to achieve) wasn't worth wasting on what was going to, obviously, be a reliable picture. I couldn't wait to respond:

Dear Larisa,

Thank you for your quick response!

Sorry for the delay in response on my end. I had to attend one of my investments in Iraq. I recently funded the building of a new synagog in Baghdad, but after completion, it disappeared. There were reports that sections of it could be found in a five mile radius, however, I was unable to find any significant pieces to reuse in my fourth attempt.

I expect I will be able to forward a copy of my passport soon. I ran into a snag on that front as I couldn't find my actual passport. Doesn't that always happen? You can find any one of your “unofficial” ones, but when you need the real thing, it goes missing. Anyway, I have located it, and it is on it's way to me.

Yours in business,

Thomas.

Heres the last few emails:

Dear Thomas,

Thank you for your response.

PLEASE KNOW THAT WE MUST HAVE YOUR INFORMATION BEFORE WE CAN PROCEED. PLEASE ASAP SEND ME A PRIVATE TELEPHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN CALL YOU ON SO WE CAN HAVE THE ARRURANCES ON BOTH SIDES AND ALSO YOUR VALID IDENTIFICATION.

We need this information so as to pass to the bank to reprofile the portfolio in your name..
In regards to contacts here for Dams, I can not help you out in this regards.

Please ensure you send the needed contact information in a fast manner.
I await your response.
regards
Larisa

Well, I felt it was about time to get serious with this business venture and send along a copy of my passport. First stop: Google. Finally, the "copy" (I recommend clicking there) found its way to Larisa via Photoshop. Alas it was the last email that would be exchanged, which made me twig she was a scammer and now can run rampart with a copy of Thomas' passport!

Larisa,

Good news! I've attached a copy of my passport for your use. Hopefully you find it of use. I remember getting that photo, I had just got the state-of-the-art haircut and busted out the good clothes.

Regards,
Thomas.

Thomas.