Na na na na!

Na na na na!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Goodbye!

So pretty boy Trescothick is headed home. Stress-related problems he says? He just can't hack it! That's right! He can't hack it. It can't deal with the knowledge that the Aussies are going to walk all over the Poms, take back our urn and have a massive party, a la like theirs.

No streamers and confetti and fans at Trafalgar Square this time son. No thinking you're now the world's best team because you cheated (yes I said it, cheated) your way to a hairline finish last time, then pulled up with one series win between then and now (and against Pakistan in England! How easy do you want it?).

You just make sure you rearrange the trophy cabinet to cover up where The Ashes could have been.

Thomas.