Monday, August 07, 2006

From here on in I am no longer known simply as Clayton Northcutt, but the far more dignified and trustworthy EDF/015 /Clayton Northcutt. That's right, I received my notice of employment, received my identification tag, received the next email from my new boss Mr. Teo Ming Kian. Yes, my new boss. I'm proud to say that I am now a member of the esteemed Matsushita Semiconductor Company Ltd. and will be expecting my 10% (yes, the commission has once again changed) commission from selling the (somewhat, hell, certainly) illegal products shipped into Redfern, New York from Singapore. I'll all you all to enjoy my good news as well with the email I received:

Mr Teo Ming Kian
Matsushita Semiconductor
250 North Bridge Road
#28-00 Raffles City Tower
Singapore 179101.
This email is to bring to the notice of its recipient by Clayton Northcutt and of identification number EDF/015 /Clayton Northcutt that from now hence forth,He or She has been appointed a Staff of Matsushita Semiconductor Company based in Singapore and thereby to be the Executive Officer of Outlet EDF23.
From now henceforth,He or She has been given sole responsibility to act on behalf of the company in your locality and beyond.

Your appointment starts from today and you would be on a 10% commision for each sale of products and also for any payment He or She receives from already existing customers.

Send us your contact address and full name with your mobile number and fax number so that we can contact you as we have given you the letter of appointment.
The entire company wishes you well welcomes you to this great and challenging position you have been appointed to handle.

Thank you for your time amd patince.We await your response to this email.

Yours Sincerely,
Mr Teo Kian
Matsushita Company Limited
The next round's on me gentlemen. I expect I'll be rolling in it for years to come with thanks to Mr. Kian and his wonderful job oportunity. Of all people to choose in the millions that would have replied to his generous offers, he chose me! I feel so blissful (ala his closing in prior emails) and cannot wait till he recieves my response:
Dear Mr. Kian,

Please find below my contact information that you requested. I am terribly excited to find myself in the employment of the Matsushita Company and will endeavour to preform my job to the expectations of my fine employers.

Your full name: Clayton Northcutt
Contact address: 10 Beguile St., Redfern, New York, 10110
Home number: 97226637
Mobile number: 4663946537

Please pass on my greetings to the rest of the company and tell them that I plan to speak to each and every one of them in an attempt to establish the report and friendship that you expect your employees to share between one another.

Hoping you are having a blissful day,
Clayton Northcutt.
What is grand is that I have, as Mr. Kian has gratefully appointed to my authority, "sole responsibility to act on behalf of the company in your locality and beyond." And with the imposing rank of Executive Officer of Outlet EDF23. Thus, if anyone steps on my turf (my turf being my locality and beyond, which I can only assume is the world), with illegal refrigerators or semiconductors (alas I am unsure what it is exactly I am selling), be prepared for a showdown with the Executive Officer of Outlet EDF23, EDF/015 /Clayton Northcutt*.
Clayton Northcutt.
*I only realised after writing that sentence that my identification tag number and my outlet number are quite similar. Pure coincidence I expect.

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