When I thought the shenanigans had ended, I find this in my mailbox:

DEAR EDF/015 /CLAYTON NORTHCUTT,

HOW ARE YOU TODAY? THE ACCOUNTS AND AUDIT UNIT HAS INSTRUCTED THAT YOU FORWARD A DETAILED REPORT TO ITS DESK THROUGH ME, AS REGARDS PROCEEDINGS WITH OUR CLIENT MR THOMAS PAGE.

THE ABOVE CLIENT CLAIMS HE HAS MADE PAYMENTS FOR HIS PRODUCTS THROUGH YOU TWO DAYS AGO. BUT WE ARE YET TO HEAR WORD FROM YOU AS REGARDS THIS ISSUE. AND THIS SITUATION HAS RAISED UNECESSARY CONTROVERSY IN OUR ORGANISATION. \

YOU ARE ADVICED TO FORWARD AS SOON AS POSSIBLE,A COMPREHENSIVE REPORT ON THE SITUATION OF MR THOMAS PAGE, THE CLIENT WHOM CLAIM TO HAVE ISSUED OUT PAYMENT TO YOU.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

MR. TEO KIAN

It must of of extreme importance, written solely in Caps Lock, however, I was more worried that I must have "misplaced" this payment report concerning Mr. Thomas Page. It would be far from my intention to cause controversy in thei ..... well, I did want to mess around with them. So, I went looking and "found" the payment report:

Mr. Kian,

I'm on top of the world. Please find enclosed the copy of the payment report for customer Thomas Page:

Client: Page, Thomas

Contact Number: 1800 33 30 00

Account Number: #16728394

Payment Due: $2, 919, 000.00

Payment Made: $2, 919, 000.00

This is what was forwarded to me via the Matsushita Semiconductor Company Ltd.. I hope all controversy is alleviated.

Clayton Northcutt.

I would like to know who they think they are dealing with when the receive that. Not only did I "find" an imaginary payment report, not only have I supposedly done business with someone that they have, in all likelihood, made up (also note that Thomas Page also has the same contact number as Crime Stoppers Australia, and do hope they call them), but somehow he has done nearly three million dollars worth of business. Now I'm eager for a response once more.

Clayton Northcutt.