Sunday, August 20, 2006

My eager wait has been rewarded. Now things take a turn for the better. I shall allow Mr. Kian to answer any question you may have thus far:

Dear Clayton,
I am in reciept of your email. I will notify Mr.Page to have the balance money sent to you.
I need you to cash the money order with you and email me as soon as funds are available to enable me instruct you on how you will remmit funds to our Company after you have remove your percentage.
I Await your swift response,
Mr.Teo Kian

Well, in all hindsight, I expect that they would be keen to get their near-on three million dollars, funds that they never, in fact, knew they were entitled to, on the basis that I may have, somewhat, fabricated that "payment information". However, the honest person I am, I thought it best to make plans immediately. After recalling I was in Redfern, New York, I had to do my research of gangster and mob films appropriately:

Dear Mr. Kian,

I hope my reply is swift enough for you. Alas I have been bed-ridden due to a severe case of rabbis I contracted from my neighbour's hamster when it went feral. As the only tenant in my apartment block with a firearms license and a 12-gauge shotgun, I was suggested to "take care" of the hamster problem. Suffice to say, it isn't a problem any more.

As to the business we intend to conduct, I have made the following plans to get you your money. I have cashed the money order and currently in possession of $2, 919, 000.00 in cash. For measurement purposes, there are 20, 000 x $100 bills, totaling $2, 000, 000, 18, 000 x $50 bills, totaling $900, 000, and 950 x $20 bills, totaling $19, 000. All bills are unmarked and guaranteed by the Chase Manhattan Bank.

I have taken the liberty to hire out, for the month, lockers #2, #4, #6 and #8 in the East Wing of Grand Central Station, in hometown New York. Tomorrow, on Monday the 21st of August, I shall put four unmarked dufflebags in the aforementioned lockers, with lockers #2 and #4 containing 10, 000 x $100 bills respectively, while locker #6 will contain the $50 bills and #8 the $20 bills, amounts mentioned above. I will store the bags at precisely 10:21A.M..

I hope this transaction is sufficient for you. Do please note that I have, as of yet, not taken out my percentage. I was hoping to leave that to you.

Wshing you a blissful day,
Clayton Northcutt.

If they weren't confused when they received the "payment information" from me last reply, surely they are now. Cash deals, Grand Central Station, shifty dufflebags, unmarked bills. If I receive a reply, really, I am going to have to start asking who I am dealing with. This is tremendous fun though. It really gets me thinking how I can mess around with these people all hours of the day. Which is why I am even more anxious for a reply now.

Clayton Northcutt.

No comments: